Sunday, January 16, 2011

The Bad Look

I can't believe I'm posting this.

This summer, at the pool, I was bobbing along very near the edge when I felt a little body swimming behind me, squiggling in an attempt to pass between me and the pool wall.

A boy no more than five or so and wearing enormous goggles popped breathlessly to the surface just to my left and promptly began flagging down his friend, Seth, who just happens to be my little Mormon next door neighbor. It's no exaggeration to say that I've helped raise Seth. That's probably why he's such a stinker.

Seth to Begoggled Boy: "What?!"

Begoggled Boy: "Dat was a baaaaaad wook!"

Seth: "What was?"

Begoggled Boy: (pointing accusingly at Kimberly Ann) "I was stawing wight at HER butt!"

Seth: (Contorts face in horror)

Kimberly Ann: (Also contorts face in horror and silently resolves to increase squats by a gazillion)

Ladies Sitting at Edge of Pool Observing: (Laugh hysterically and probably inadvertently tinkle themselves, the old hags.)

Well, there it is folks: The Bad Look. By the way, "The Bad Look" is now the official name for my booty, at least according to my daughters. It's also the official term for anything particularly or painfully unattractive. "Sherri's hairdo was one Bad Look, bless her heart."

Wondering if the Homeowner's Association might pay for liposuction as a Neighborhood Beautification project,


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