Sunday, January 16, 2011

The Bad Look

I can't believe I'm posting this.

This summer, at the pool, I was bobbing along very near the edge when I felt a little body swimming behind me, squiggling in an attempt to pass between me and the pool wall.

A boy no more than five or so and wearing enormous goggles popped breathlessly to the surface just to my left and promptly began flagging down his friend, Seth, who just happens to be my little Mormon next door neighbor. It's no exaggeration to say that I've helped raise Seth. That's probably why he's such a stinker.

Seth to Begoggled Boy: "What?!"

Begoggled Boy: "Dat was a baaaaaad wook!"

Seth: "What was?"

Begoggled Boy: (pointing accusingly at Kimberly Ann) "I was stawing wight at HER butt!"

Seth: (Contorts face in horror)

Kimberly Ann: (Also contorts face in horror and silently resolves to increase squats by a gazillion)

Ladies Sitting at Edge of Pool Observing: (Laugh hysterically and probably inadvertently tinkle themselves, the old hags.)

Well, there it is folks: The Bad Look. By the way, "The Bad Look" is now the official name for my booty, at least according to my daughters. It's also the official term for anything particularly or painfully unattractive. "Sherri's hairdo was one Bad Look, bless her heart."

Wondering if the Homeowner's Association might pay for liposuction as a Neighborhood Beautification project,


Identifying as an Ex-Mormon

Leaving the religion which has been the foundation of my family's heritage for many generations was a process that affected me to my core. For years I identified primarily as a mother and an ex-Mormon. I still loved and respected my Mormon family, and didn't raise religious issues in their presence, but, for a time, being a former Mormon was as much a part of my identity as being a Mormon had been. I cannot explain why; it just was. But I don't think it is anymore.

To everything there is a season, and my season of active ex-Mormonism seems to have passed. I'm still interested in Mormon history and will, of course, try to be a help to anyone who has questions, and the love and affection for the many friends I've met on various discussion boards and at ex-Mormon conferences remains, but I can sense my interest in most things Mormon waning. Perhaps that will change in the future, but for now, I welcome the apathy.

I've decided to transfer more of my energy to the pursuit of shoes. I'm thinking of documenting every pair I own, which will take a good chunk of time, especially considering my rate of shoe accrual. I'll let the Mormons in the family deal with Family History. Footwear History is where it's at for me. I wish I had a picture of my first pair. I'd start a Footwear Tree with those little high-topped white baby shoes perched atop the family line.