Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Lust Handles

Guys, there's a reason the chubby parts on either side of your waist aren't called "lust handles." They're not attractive. True, love handles don't, or at least shouldn't, stop a woman from finding a man attractive, but I don't understand why men with love handles the size of watermelons feel the need to remove their shirts at the pool like they're unwrapping a gift for the ladies and then strut by like peacocks on display. Please, for the love of God, stop doing that.

That is all.

Kimberly Ann

PS. No, that is not all. To be fair, I must tell the ladies that a tan does NOT hide cellulite. I know. I wish it did. But it doesn't. So please put away the Daisy Dukes. Your brown cottage-cheese thighs are hot, but only because they're sunburned. Use some aloe vera and put on capri pants. Thanks.


  1. Watchu talkin' about? Cinepro loves the dimpled leather!

  2. Is it okay if men wear capri pants, or as I like to call them, clam diggers?

  3. I don't think men should wear capri pants.

    But if you're so tall that all your pants end up as capri pants, then I'll give you a pass, Jared.

  4. Those are called highwaters. You know you're wearing them when people keep asking you if you're expecting a flood.